This is Why

Someone asked me recently what my mission as a writer is. And it made me think a lot about why I'm doing this. 

Writing is hard, guys, though I'm sure most of you know. It's hours of typing, brainstorming, editing (the horror), and when you've finished with that, the manuscript is messy, sometimes cheesy, full of plot holes, cringe-worthy, and overall just not... there. (Unless you're a perfect writer, in which case, please give me tips) I very rarely feel like writing. It's something I often have to make myself do. I'm not inspired every day to sit down and write, nor am I always happy about doing it. It's time consuming. Sometimes there are other things I'd rather do. 

Sometimes I read what I've written and think it's awful and why am I trying to be a writer again?? 

Just because I love to write doesn't mean it's always easy to write. So why do I do it?

This is why.

A while back, I sat down and planned on only writing for a little bit. But a little bit turned into multiple hours, and I managed to finish draft one of my story. When I wrote the final words, I screamed and looked the manuscript over quickly, just skimming over it. It was so messy and unorganized and there were notes in the margin I'd made for myself, telling myself to fix this, scrap that, expand this paragraph, find a different word, etc. It wasn't a direct path, it was a tree with branches going in all different directions. It was messy. But it was mine. I started crying right then and there, because holy cow, I'd done it! I wrote a novel! 

Since then I've finished draft two and printed it out and let people read it and it's sitting on my shelf right now. I'll probably never touch it again, as I've moved on to other projects. But guys, it's mine! I took something that was born straight from my imagination and ran with it until it was a reality, and it makes me so unbelievably happy. 

That's why.