Seventeen Questions for Seventeen Years

So today's my seventeenth birthday..... 

The year flew by so SO fast, you guys, I can't even explain. Although I'm sure you all know that feeling. So as a little celebration here, I've found seventeen reflective questions (on Pinterest lol) to answer. Just little questions about life and how it's going. 

1) When was the last time you tried something new? 

Yesterday, actually, I tried bacon jam. I don't particularly recommend it x)

2) What gets you excited about life? 

Aaah, life scares me. Seriously though, it can be overwhelming, especially when I think that I'm only seventeen as of today and I have so much life left to live and at the same time, not really...? In a sense? Cuz it just speeds by so fast. 

The little things get me excited about life. Rainy days. Sweaters. Days with my friends. Tea. Chocolate. Writing. The beach. Music. Imagination. Colorful leaves. Fuzzy blankets. And everything else. 

3) Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?

....My friends? My brother? My cousin? 

I have a cousin who is a bit older than me. He does really well in school and recently got into this college that I hope to go to in a few years. He's smart and put-together and I make fun of him a lot, but a lot of times I find myself comparing myself to him. 
He's gonna go places and I don't even know what I want for dinner xD 

4) What do you love and what are you doing about it? 

I love writing. 
What am I doing about it?
I'm writing. 

5) Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know?

I try to ask questions. I talk to my teachers after class a lot, asking questions, hoping to better understand. I ask a lot of questions about life, just to myself. When I'm writing, I try to ask myself questions about the plot, the characters, where I want the story to go. 
I dunno if I ask ENOUGH questions, but I definitely ask questions. 

6) What's a belief you hold with which many people disagree? 

Well I mean, God. God is my main belief, and when I saw this question, He was the first thing to pop into my mind. 

But also, on a lesser note, the purpose of writing. I write for myself, but I've met people who say that writers should write for the world. That overwhelms me. I write what I have to say, not what the world wants to read. 

7) What can you do today that you were not capable of doing a year ago? 

I think I'm better at this life thing. I've learned to roll with the punches a bit more. I've learned how to better handle stress and to accept that God is in control and to let go of things that don't matter. 

8) Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?

... I think it depends. But I know that crying itself doesn't make you weak. 

9) What would you do differently if you knew no one would judge you? 

I might.... actually share what I write? I never do that. But if I were more confident, maybe I would. 

10) Do you celebrate the things you have?

Yes. I try to everyday. Some days I fail, but I mean, we all go through ungrateful phases. But yes, I'm all about the little things in life, and I definitely try to celebrate what I have. (Especially with Thanksgiving in a few days!) 

11)  What is the difference between living and existing? 

Existing, in my opinion, is just paying the bills and dying. 

Living is finding adventure in the little things; being thankful for what you have; smiling daily; laughing daily; praying through the storm; giving back; finding God in all things beautiful. 

12) Have you done anything lately worth remembering? 

This question is such an eye opener, y'all. I hope that the answer is always yes. 

I know this is the thousandth time I've said this, but I'm all about the little things, so yeah, basically anything could be an answer for this. This month I've actually done a good deal of things, and I hope I remember them in fifty years. 

13) What does your joy look like today? 

God // my green sweater // family // laughing with my brothers // new jeans // no makeup // smiling

14) Which activities make you lose track of time? 

Writing. Listening to music. Reading. Pinterest-ing. 

15) If you had to teach something, what would you teach? 

Okay, I'd be the literal worst teacher ever, but probably dance. That's the only way I could see myself as a teacher. 

16) What life lesson did you learn the hard way? 

My main theme for life is "God is in control." And it became my main theme the hard way. I tried to control things. I forgot that God's got this. And I realized this after it all sorta blew up in my face a few times. 

17) When you are 80-years-old, what will matter to you most? 

What I have. But not in a selfish, greedy way. What will matter to me the most will be how I've lived my life and what/where it's gotten me. What I have to show for 80 years of life. 

Overall, it's been a good year. If you liked these questions, please feel free to use them x) I can't believe that a year from now I'll be eighteen!! Das craziness right there. 

(I just turned seventeen and I'm already thinking about turning eighteen. I'm normal.) 

I also can't believe I started this blog when I was a  fourteen-year-old who had no idea what she was doing. And now I'm seventeen and still don't really know what I'm doing (😄). 

But that's fine. 

I'll figure it out eventually. 

Thank you guys so much for reading <3


Photo cred: Emma  
Thanks bae x)

Exclusive Snippets Part One (Get Excited!!)

WELCOME WELCOME TO THE GRAND EXCLUSIVE REVEALING OF SNIPPETS FROM MY WIP, PAST WIPS, AND EVERYTHING ELSE BY ABBY M HERSELF. 

And yes, it's exciting. 

...also it's not very exclusive....

But I'm extremely excited to share these little clips with you guys. I know I don't really talk much about my WIP(s) but I've decided that today is the day! (or the night... or whatever... I don't know what time you're reading this) (I'm such a dork). 

These are not in any particular order. No rhyme or reason. No method to my madness.

Okay yes I'm done I'll shut up now HERE YOU GO: 


//I was never curious until I turned fifteen, and the world started giving me things to be curious about.



//“Mom, do I have to conquer the world?”
“No,” she replied thoughtfully. “I suppose not. But someday,” she looked at me, “you’re going to grow up and you’re going to have to make it yours somehow. Every human leaves their mark in some way. You just have to figure out what you have to offer the world.”


//Myles and I weaved through alleys, heading towards the fields, from what I could tell. “What are they exactly?”

He stopped suddenly and I bumped into him. He gave me a quick glare before looking up at the abandoned warehouse we were standing outside of. “I think it’s pretty self-explanatory, if you ask me.”

“Well then next time, I won’t ask you.”

//“This is something I cannot accept. Spies, rebels against the cause, will not be tolerated!”

“Ironic,” I whispered to Myles, “that someone would think to rebel against the rebellion.”

He elbowed me in the ribs.

//I bit my lip as I walked along the surf, the wet sand sticking to my feet. My hand gripped the thongs of my flip-flops and swung a little higher than usual as I walked. My hair flew about my face and got caught between my lips and stuck to my eyelashes.


//"Sometimes He gives us pain to draw us closer to Him, or for another reason. He let His own Son be tortured, humiliated, and hung on a cross for us.” She looked at me, her eyes on fire, like the sky. But it was a calm, beautiful fire. “Sometimes He lets us hit rock bottom so we can realize that He is the Rock at the bottom.”


//That’s when the power went out and Stevie screamed bloody murder. Luckily, it wasn’t completely dark yet, so I could still just barely see, and things got clearer once my eyes adjusted, but the rain and clouds made it darker and louder than usual. I couldn’t remember the last time it had rained so hard.


//Brady asked if he could have donuts with his lunch, to which I immediately refused. I knew that I was in charge and that I needed to act responsibly.
            It didn’t last long. Ten and a half minutes later, the two of us were eating Cup o’ Noodles and donuts on the roof.  

//She lay in the lush, dancing grass and motioned for me to do the same. I didn’t feel solid, like I was made of air and wind and voice, but I sat.

Okay, that's actually less than I was going to put, but remember, this is only Part One. We'll get around to Part Two another time. 

SO I'm sorry if none of these made sense. But they're just little clips and little clips aren't supposed to make sense.  But what did you think?? Should I do a Part Two in the future or did you hate this and should Part Two become Part Never? 

I've got a post all pre-written and stuff (cuz I'm so organized) for Thanksgiving. So be back then! 

Peace ✌

Thankful at Dusk

It's almost Thanksgiving. 
You know what I'm thankful for? 

I'm thankful for evenings like this. 

evenings where i'm driving in the slow lane
on the freeway
my bare feet gently pressing the pedals
my hands guiding the wheel
the rims of my glasses are brimming my vision

my brother is next to me in the passenger seat
he's reading something in the dimming light

and it's quiet.

and we drive under a periwinkle sky
with a few wisps of pink clouds
it's like a sky you'd see in a fairyland
not in southern california
yet here we are.

and there are palm trees 
lining the freeway
they seem to be glowing slightly against the sky.
and bordering my everything
my whole life
growing up
are the mountains
the grey-blue mountains that i see
that i've always seen.
i would never be able to get used to seeing a horizon
without these mountains.


and it's quiet.


my brother is still reading 
something for school. 

"jack," i say, "when karma flows, goodness follows."
"what?"
"i dunno, that's what it says on that truck over there."
"i disagree."
"are you calling that truck a liar?"
"only if that truck doesn't believe in karma." 

it's random snippets of conversation.
he's reading.
i'm driving.
and it's peaceful. 

and it's quiet. 

and i'm thankful for evenings like this.

Hello November

via

2016 is almost 2017 and my brain can't handle it. My brain is still processing that summer is over.

My brain is behind. 

OCTOBER IN REVIEW

October was the first month I actually felt strangely ready for, like my mind could actually comprehend it for some reason. It was a nice two days of feeling caught up and then the trees that line the soccer field at school took on this [really cool-looking] orange and green ombre look, and suddenly I felt mentally behind again. 

What to say about October. Academically, it was stressful. Report cards came out. My grades are good, but not good enough (*cue dramatic... idk, dramatic something, that sentence sounded dramatic). I don't know, I guess when people told me Junior year was going to be my hardest year of high school, I didn't take them seriously enough. Everything is college oriented now, and I feel like if I stop myself to breathe for even one second, I'm going to screw up and I'll fall behind and my grades will just die like.... like something that dies pathetically. I'm so tired. I feel like I'm running a marathon and there's no stopping until I make it to the end and the rest of my life is resting on my shoulders and I'm so tired. 

But enough of that! I will be upbeat for the rest of this post x) 

October was....

//leggings and giant flannels

//waking up to rain

//inordinate amounts of tea and coffee

//pumpkins and spices

//movie nights

//the Beatles, Abbey Road

//evenings in Hollywood

//coffee runs 

//PSATs

//bus rides

//chocolate

//reading Jane Eyre

Favorite October Moments...

//watching the sun rise from the bus window

//driving barefoot in ripped jeans and my brother's giant LA Clippers hoodie

//sitting in a coffee shop early in the morning

//staying up late studying

//walking around downtown Pasadena with my cousin

//singing the Beatles with my sister

//eating donuts outside with friends before the sun was up

//chopping off my hair

//my first vlog

Notice none of these include writing. Because I did no work on my WIP this month. Seriously, I've lost all motivation to work on it, which makes me think I should be doing NaNo right now..... 
I'm not doing NaNo this year, but my goal this month is to W R I T E. Because I need to!! I don't think I've worked on it since summer when I did Camp NaNo. 
I'm a sad soul who needs to write something. 

All in all, October was a busy but interesting month, full of early mornings and chilly weather. 

How was your October?

Liebster Award Take Two | Vlog!

Surprise!! I have my very first vlog up here. Now y'all can attach my real voice to my posts instead of whatever voice you came up with for me x) (Unless you had me as British, in which case please do not watch this vlog, I'd like to stay British in your mind.) 

So quick notes: 
1) I'm very awkward
2) I had like a weird little moment when I was reading my Jane Austen quiz description thing, and it makes sense in my head, but I realize when you watch the video, it seems totally random, so trust that in my thought process, it made sense...
3) I'd just gotten home from school so I'm sorry if I look kinda tired. 
4) DO YOU LIKE MY CAPTAIN AMERICA SWEATSHIRT?? I LOVE IT SO MUCH. 

Okay, yeah, that's all. I had fun making this, and let me know if I should do more! (Q&A....Yes?...Maybe?...) Enjoy the vlog!!

Tired, Young Hearts

We think that all we have is scraped skin
Bent wishes
Broken hearts
But I'm telling you, we're wrong
We think that all we are is who we've been
Tired souls
Bleeding scars
But our lives are long

We think we're nothing but tears on silver spoons
Writing songs
In hotel rooms
But I'm telling you, we're more
We think we're trapped behind bolted doors
Marble walls
Frozen tombs
But I'm telling you, we'll soar

This is us
We're a couple of tired, young hearts
We're broken and bruised
But that's fine
Because we still know how to smile in the dark
And once we find the pieces of ourselves
We'll r u n  a g a i n 

:: :: ::

Sorry for being such a terrible blogger this month! Life's been craziness. I've been working on a little surprise for you guys though, so stay tuned!! 

Hello October

~not my image~

Strangely, October is the first month I'm actually ready for. I haven't been ready for any other month to happen since New Years, and now suddenly, I'm comfortable with October. 

It's weird. 

Maybe it's a symptom of caffeine-withdrawal. I haven't had caffeine since like yesterday. 

:: :: ::

SEPTEMBER IN REVIEW

:: :: ::

September was mostly a transitional month, getting back into the rhythm of school while at the same time trying to keep the whole being-a-Junior thing under control. It's not easy. Junior year has been crazy so far. 

One big thing that happened was, I got my drivers license!! Huzzah for me!! 

September was....

//Coffee runs

//Long car-rides

//Hot days

//Back to school

//Studying

//Reading Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

//Driving down the freeway

//Music

//Movies

//Crunching dead, fallen leaves

//Late-night chats

//Driving my siblings to school early in the morning

//Running

//The Hollywood Bowl

//Windy days

//Bundt cake

//Orange sunrises

//Blue skies

How was your September?