A Few Weeks Ago

My cousin Maddy and I walk downhill, towards the community college. You have to walk through it to get to this little Foster's Freeze. It's in a sketchy part of town, but it doesn't matter. I hear the sounds of our own laughter and I don't feel nervous. 

The sun is going to set soon, but it's giving us that golden, late-afternoon glow. Pink flowers are scattered on the sidewalk. I don't know what they're called, but they're pretty. Cars drive by, carrying people who have places to be. 

I don't have anywhere else I need to be. It's Christmas break. No deadlines, no unfinished homework lurking in the back of my mind. These moments are mine right now. 

And we're laughing about something. I think about a TV show. It's usually about a TV show. Or else we're talking about old memories. Or disagreeing about music, as we so often do. Or maybe it's food. 

We walk through the community college and make it to the Foster's. She orders a Twister, I order fries. We sit at the old, outdoor table with peeling blue paint, and we talk. There are only a few others nearby, but they slowly leave. Probably because we talk rather loudly. We just enjoy being together. I wonder aloud if they are going to give me ketchup with my fries and complain about the possibility of awkwardly asking for some while Maddy rolls her eyes at me. 
Our food comes and we eat while we talk. We talk about anything and everything. We never seem to run out of topics. There's a whole world out there, and we talk about how we want to see it all someday.

As we walk home, the slight wind brushes our skin, raising the hairs on my arms. We walk through the community college again and Maddy turns on "Hooked on a Feeling" on her phone. The whole sky has been painted neon as the sun sets, framing the dark palm tree silhouettes. We run though a hallway next to the basketball court, our voices and the music echoing off the walls. 

And we walk back uphill. The moment is ours. We don't think about deadlines or textbooks or the future. Because it's the present right now, we don't let it pass us by. 



xoxo
abby 

Hello January 2017

not my image

It is officially a new year!! Wild as that may be. So this isn't going to be a normal "Hello [insert month here]" post. This is gonna be extra long, full of lists and a resolution that I probably won't keep. 

I am going to start off with the review of December first, as usual... 

DECEMBER IN REVIEW

The first half of December was stress city! I started off with my exam prep and then we actually got to the exams and holy cow, thinking back on all that stress makes my stomach hurt. But I survived, by the miraculous grace of God. 

The second half of December was much better x). Christmas came and we spent time with so many cousins and aunts and uncles, and there was so much craziness and multiple long car rides, but it was a blast. The whole Christmas season has been wonderful to me :). 

December was...

//Christmas lights

//hot chocolate 

//fireplaces

//fuzzy socks

//family

//cookies

//Chinese food

//music of all kinds

//rainy days and nights

//bookstores

//a lot of movies

//polaroids

//the sound of many little feet running through the house

//late night laughter

Favorite December Moments...

//CHRISTMAS

//watching Elf with my siblings on Christmas Eve

//watching Jungle Book with my siblings and cousins on Christmas night (lot of movies happened this Christmas season)(also, how we decided to watch this movie on Christmas night instead of White Christmas is beyond me)

//swinging on the swings in the park with my little cousin on my lap

//making french toast

//rewatching Civil War with my brothers late into the night

//going out for Chinese food with my cousin and getting super lost

//sitting by the fire

//finishing my exams

//getting wildly hyper on Christmas night with my brothers and cousins

//going to the bookstore

//simultaneously reading Agatha Christie and listening to classic rock on Spotify (because thats a natural combo)

//Christmas dinner with my whole family

:: :: ::

It's a new year! 2016 was a strange and short year, and I learned a lot. So many things happened in the public sphere (mostly bad things, but...), and it was also an eventful year in my little sphere too. I finished tenth grade, therefore finishing the first half of high school. I started eleventh grade and became an upperclassman, and through all the craziness and stress, it hasn't been all bad x). I even managed to get a good score on the PSATs.Summer was full of sunshine, beach trips, county fairs, bare feet, and iced tea. I went to two concerts this year, my first concerts EVER. I discovered the magic of coffee and classic rock. I found all these amazing TV shows (including, but not limited to: Gilmore Girls, The Office, Parks and Rec...) This Fall and Winter I got my drivers license, I turned seventeen, I completed the first draft of my Junior thesis, AND survived finals, which I think is pretty awesome. 

ALSO, I met so many blogger-people this year through Quills!! You guys are all amazing and have taken this whole blog experience to another level. One blog in particular, Burning Youth, has inspired me so much since it started earlier this year and if you haven't checked it out, please do. So much wisdom in one blog. 

As I look back on this year as a writer, though, it wasn't my best year...? Poetry-wise, I think I've grown a lot and gotten better... I did do Camp NaNo back in July, which was great and I managed to get a lot done. But after that I just sort of... stopped. I really don't feel like I'm going anywhere with this novel and I'm considering scrapping it. But I'm super hesitant to do that, as I'm almost finished with the SECOND FREAKING DRAFT, which is farther than I've EVER gotten in any writing project. 
HOWEVER, the computer that this novel was on crashed or something, and I didn't know, and my dad threw it out, and I didn't know any of this and I forgot to back up the doc... so maybe this is a sign? That I should move on?? Because this novel isn't really making me as happy as it used to, and life is too short to write books that don't make you happy!! 

I dunno. Who does know. I dunno. I'm hoping 2017 will be more successful, writing-wise. 

Throughout the year, I compiled a list that grew as the months went by. It was of conclusions I made, or lessons I learned, or anything of the like. Here's the list: 

1) Wednesdays exist to make us miserable.

2) When our stuff gets stolen, it's a very bad thing.

3) Untoasted PopTarts are much more convenient.

4) It's never not okay to reference the Princess Bride

5) If you are a mango, ACCEPT IT AND DON'T TRY TO BE A WATERMELON.

6) When we hurt, we sometimes end up hurting someone else too on accident

7) Sometimes I'm scared of my own mind.

8) All the things I can't do frustrate me.

9) One should never turn down medicine when sick just because one is afraid it will taste bad.

10) Sometimes life surprises us.

11) Hope is a good thing; don't give up on hope no matter what life throws at you.

12) NOBODY ON TV EVER GETS PROPERLY ANGRY I ALWAYS WANT TO SCREAM AT THEM

13) Independence is scary.

14) Go slowly

15) God is good.

My big goal for this year is to take better care of myself. I haven't been exercising, I've been eating tons of junk food, I've been letting stress get to me, and overall, I haven't been very good to myself this past year. And I'm hoping that this year I'll push myself to love myself a little more. 
2017 is coming. I'm going to start my senior year of high school this year. I'm going to turn eighteen and become an adult in the eyes of society. And who knows what else will happen. I'll probably mess up a few times. But that's okay. 

Happy New Year!! What are your goals for the new year? And if you have any ideas as to what I should change or do differently this year blogging-wise, please let me know! I want to make Quills even better this year for all of you guys <3

Three Ways to Get in the Holiday Spirit

Not that any of us really need help in that department I think... Who doesn't love Christmas, right?? 
Okay, I don't want to sound cheesy throughout this post though--I do know that Christmas isn't about what you wear or what music you listen to or what you're giving/getting. I know it's about presents the birth of our Savior. HOWEVER these are three ways to make it feel a little more like the Christmas season x) 

1) Listen to Christmas music

I love Christmas  music!! Lately I've been listening to the above album, Michael Bublé's Christmas album, because it really isn't Christmas without Michael Bublé. x) 

2) Wear red and green

I don't have a lot of red clothing actually, for some strange reason, but I've got a lot of green! So I'm adding some red in there by painting my nails (very badly, but oh well) and wearing red Christmas socks and BAM I'm a walking Christmas tree :)

(Oh, also, the peppermint mocha at Starbucks = 👌) 

3) Go Christmas-light hunting

Did this with my family the other night, and wow, Christmas lights are beautiful!! Sometimes I have to stay at school until late, and so people are already turning on their lights when I'm driving home, and I take the long route through the residential areas on my way home just so I can see them all. 

It's the little things :)

What are you doing to get in the holiday spirit? 🎄 Merry Christmas, you guys!!

sometime last night

cold fires

faded polaroids

sweaters

blankets

wind and rain

fairy lights

car heaters

converse

skidding tires

painted nails

laughing smiles

fuzzy red socks

phone calls

baseball caps

warm mugs

old guitars

tired hearts

mint chocolate

kitchen lights

can't wait for sunday...

❤

...waiting...

Isaiah 40:31
"Wait" 

You know that feeling? 
When you're waiting for something? 
And sometimes it comes quickly
But most times
It doesn't
And you're waiting.
And you're waiting. 
And... you're waiting...

And you want to scream
Because it's so hard
And your patience has worn so thin
You're scared it will snap. 

And you're scared to wait for something
You know may never happen
Because it's come to that point
Where you're not sure it will.

It feels like looking across the ocean
Trying to see past the horizon

And it's hard
And it's painful sometimes
And you just want 
To stop waiting

You
Reading this now
Are picturing your own situation
Because everyone's waiting for something. 

But God tells us to 
Wait.

Why? 
Why do we have to wait? 

Why do we have to live with that thought
"Not today.
Maybe someday
But not today." 

I don't know
What you're waiting for
But just know this: 

God is worth the wait.


///

In this season of Advent, we are waiting for the birth of Christ. We are waiting for the wonderful Second Coming. We wait throughout our lives, preparing our hearts and our souls. And I know that sometimes our patience can wear down, but just know that it's going to be worth it x)

<33

The Little Prince :: A Review

A few months ago, I watched this movie called The Little Prince with my siblings. To be honest, I wasn't expecting much. Every once in a while, my mom brings home a movie and has us watch it. And they're always pretty good movies, but with this one I was completely awestruck. Amazed. Speechless. (And if you know me in person, you know that last one isn't an easy feat.) 

This movie has the appearance of being a little kid's movie. And yes, it could be. My little sisters watched it and loved it. But it's a movie that I think is made for this very adult world we live in. 

You watch it in two stories at once, two ideas being played out. The animation is different for each story. The first story is of a little girl living with her micromanaging mother. She and her mother move to a new, bland, ordered neighborhood that reflects the little girl's own bland, ordered life. The mother has the girl's whole life planned, down to the very minute. She has a huge chart to check off each daily accomplishment, and everything adds up to this little girl becoming a very successful "grown up". 

Then the little girl meets her neighbor. Her neighbor is an Old Man who lives in a mismatched house with his slightly mismatched mind. Or at least, that's what it looks like at first. In an act of curiosity, the little girl sneaks over to see the Old Man's world. 
The immediate difference slaps you in the face. You watch as the little girl leaves her world of evenly cut grass and a polished, gray house to this colorful, bright, lively backyard with birds and overgrown bushes and a broken-down plane. She and the Old Man become friends and she helps him with his plane while he tells her the story of the Little Prince. 

"Once there was a little prince who lived on a planet scarcely bigger than himself and who had a need for a friend."

The second story slides into the Old Man's past. He was an aviator who crashed in the desert and met the Little Prince. 

The Little Prince's story appears strange at first. He flies from one planet (or asteroid, really) to another by clinging to a flock of passing birds, in search of a friend. He meets the inhabitants of these planets, who are all self-involved, bizarre people. One spends his time tallying up the stars, never really seeing how beautiful they are. One believes he is king of the universe, though he doesn't even have anyone on his own planet to rule. One spends his time seeking applause from an empty audience. 

"I know a planet where there is a certain red-faced gentleman. He has never smelled a flower. He has never looked at a star. He has never done anything in his life but add up figures. And all day he says over and over, 'I am busy with matters of consequence!'"

The Little Prince's world is odd. There are the subtle, meaningful metaphors placed throughout it. There is the peculiar, yet beautiful wisdom of this Little Prince. There is the love between him and his Rose. 

"The shame was that they loved each other. But they were both too young to know how to love."

One of the biggest themes in this story is the idea of growing up. Unlike most movies with this theme, it does not portray the adults to be the "bad guys". The mother loves the little girl; this is clearly shown. It simply shows the audience that growing up isn't a bad thing, although one should not forget their child-like curiosity of the world. You should not become like the man who spends his time counting up the stars--instead, see how beautiful they are. You should not become like the self-centered "king of the universe"--instead, observe the world around you. You should not become like the man who seeks applause and approval from everyone--instead, find the beauty in yourself. 

You should not become like the mother who loved her daughter so much she hurt them both. 

Instead, love her enough to let go a little. 

The Little Prince ends up deciding that grown-ups are "very, very odd." He comes into the desert and shares his story and his wisdom with the Aviator. 

"Growing up isn't the problem, forgetting is."

Just everything about this movie is so wonderfully done. The themes of love, wonder, growing up, and not getting lost in this adult world are portrayed in a simple, honest, sweet way. We see in the absurdity of the Little Prince's story the attractiveness of it. In his world, one can travel via birds. Roses can love. A little boy can have more wisdom than a grown man. And I think this is why people are so drawn to this story. 

"It is only with the heart that one sees rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye."

This story is unique. I've never read the play by Antoine de Saint-Exupery, but I think it's kind of hard to find in English...? I would like to read it someday though. 

This movie is so beyond words. The wise sayings of the Little Prince. All the hidden meanings and subtle metaphors. Just... everything. Go watch this movie. 

Age recommendation? Basically all ages. Seriously, if you are a human person with a heart and a soul then you have to watch this movie. 

If you would like a more in-depth review of The Little Prince, this is a really really good one by Elly Gard.  

I highly recommend this movie if you're interested in simple, beautiful movies that fill you with a sense of wonder. 

Hello December

'Tis the season to be jolly. x) 

Seriously though, December is the BEST MONTH EVERRRR and if it snowed in SoCal, it would be even more epic. But people are still going to the beach down here. I want snow. 

(It's very sad how weak SoCal-ians are actually. It was 60 degrees at school the other day and everyone was wrapped up in big jackets and complaining about the freezing weather.) 

NOVEMBER IN REVIEW

I did not do NaNo, and I'm immensely grateful I didn't, because school is taking up everything these days. Junior Year is slowly killing me and if I die just know that I loved you all. 
Although I'm hoping I'll be able to do it next year. AND I got a new story idea a few days ago...? And this happens a lot, where I get a new idea and obsess over it for a bit and then forget about it, but this time I mean it!! (But who knows, really.) 


November was.....

//peppermint mochas

//family

//giving thanks

//GOOD FOOD

//walking along the beach

//bright sunsets

//long drives

//music

//laughing

//waffles

//cookie dough

//bonfires

//big flannels

//movies


Favorite November Moments....

//singing Christmas carols in the car

//going to see Dr. Strange with friends and then to a bonfire

//watching all four parts of the new Gilmore Girls season in one day with my cousin

//playing the alphabet game in the car with my brother and cousins

//turning seventeen 

//waffles and tea on my birthday... x)

//the fall dance

//getting multiple new mugs to add to my collection

//W R I T I N G

//reading The Lunar Chronicles


Overall, November was pretty great, full of lazy days and waffles and hot drinks, which is always good :) 

How was your November?