So much had changed, guys, I don't even know where to begin.
aug. 16th, 2018. I moved to college.
And now I get up in the morning to a familiar dorm room, and I have a college morning routine, and I see people in the bathroom whom I know and have become friendly with, and we say good morning before washing the sleep from our faces. And I know the chill of the hills that the campus is on, and I know the flowers that grow and where the bees like to gather. I walk the beaten path across the grass, I have a favorite seat in the library, I have inside jokes with people I pass by. I have a favorite college class. I read and read and read, and I feel insanely blessed to be getting an education based on one of my favorite things in the world: reading. Not just reading, but reading the best that humanity has to offer; Plato, Fabre, Socrates, Homer, the Bible, Flannery O'Conner, Aristotle.
I get up every day, and I go and learn how to think. I learn how to consider and discuss questions I never would have thought of before. And I learn how to find answers for myself, and not let someone else hand them to me. I am allowed to be vocal, and have an opinion. I can show my classmates and my teachers my own train of thought, and they listen and treat my ideas with respect and help me find a conclusion to satisfy my wonder.
It's work. It's stressful, late-night, complex, wonderful work. I won't be unrealistic and say that college has been one perfect second after another, but it's been enough for me to know that I'm exactly where I need to be.
I'm in an awkward position, where when I'm at school, I call home Home. When I'm home, I call school Home. I don't feel torn, though, nor do I think I should be. I don't have two different lives, I have one messy, beautiful, puzzle of a life, and these are just pieces of it. Things have changed a bit, somehow Home has become a word that I'm just thinking more about. I'm not confused by it, but wondering how it can suddenly go from being one thing to being maybe a whole idea of it's own that I can take with me wherever I go. I like the thought that wherever I go in life, I can bring a piece of Home with me, but I'll always have my family to go back to and rely on. I'm tied to one, but can bring a bit of it with me along the way.
