Hello October!

It's October already!! I don't understand how this year is already almost over. I am super excited though because October sort of begins my favorite part of the year. I love the cool, fall weather in October and November, and plus there's all the holidays to look forward to (and my birthday WHAT). Fall is my favorite season and even though we don't really get the full experience in southern California, we still get colder weather and rainy days, the leaves that change, and allllll the fall-themed drinks in the cafes x). 

LIFE THINGS

Well I mean, I think the biggest thing that happened this month was getting accepted to college (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). And that was such a huge thing and now I really can't remember much of the rest of the month hahahahawhoops. 

My cousin drove up one weekend which was SO MUCH FUN because I haven't seen her in a while. We went to dinner and crashed a dance at the very college that accepted me not a week later... x) I also went to lunch with another cousin, who is a freshman at aforementioned college. I can't believe we're going to school together next year. 

It was a month full of people, if that makes sense. I spent so much time getting together with people I haven't seen and meeting good friends for coffee dates, I went to three dances, and just talked to everyone. It's been really nice. 

BOOK THINGS

My grandma gave me a beautiful copy of The Secret Life of Bees. I've seen the movie but hadn't read the book, but once I picked it up I couldn't put it down! I DEFINITELY recommend this book to everyone!!! It's a good book for fall, too. Even though it takes place in summer. It's got fall-ish vibes. 

I'm also working on reading through the Psalms. It was kind of a spontaneous decision to read the Psalms, but I'm glad I am. :)

I'm reading Great Expectations for school and OH MY GOSH Dickens is officially my favorite writer. All the imagery! And just his amazing way with words!! I hope to have a FRACTION of his skill someday. 

WRITING THINGS

I'm slowly but surely working my way through my WIP. I'm going so slow it's ridiculous. I think this is going to be my longest manuscript ever though, which will be quite an achievement for me if I can actually do it. Still deciding if I want to do NaNo or not, but I'm leaning towards yes because I desperately need motivation. 

September was...

//coffee coffee coffee

//talking over the noise of crowds

//late nights

//waffles in the morning

//Snapples

//falling asleep with lightning flashing outside my window

//sunburns

//string lights

Favorite September moments...

//11PM In N Out runs

//getting new notebooks

//going out to eat with family

//setting up for the first school dance

//getting accepted to college

Let's talk! How was your month?

The Unmovable Rock

Last night I found out I got accepted to college. 

This is a weird feeling for me, looking back on all the times in the past year I've felt so overwhelmed with thoughts like what if I don't get in... I get to look back on the times I got stressed out over a failed test, knowing everything affects how colleges will look at me. I get to remember sitting in my aunt's kitchen on my phone and seeing my SAT scores in my inbox. I freaked out over that, I freaked out over writing my ((six)) application essays, I freaked out over taking each PSAT. I lay in my room and cried on bad days, just positive I wasn't good enough, that even God wasn't strong enough to open this door that seemed so closed to me from where I was. 

I surprised myself at first last night. After I got off the phone, I smiled and felt a bit shaky, but it didn't really process. I did what I always imagined I would do if I found out I got in, which was call my best friend. She didn't pick up, so I texted her instead. I realized I should tell my mom and everyone, but first I sat on my bed for the sheer joy of sitting in the same place where I had nearly drowned in all the pressure I'd felt over the past year. And now I could sit there without the huge weight. 

The minute I stepped out into the hallway, it processed. I broke down into a full-on ugly cry. I haven't sobbed so hard in years. 

This was what I've been striving for since before I even started seriously thinking about college. When I was little, it was the college I just assumed I'd go to, but then as I grew up, I realized it's more complicated. Life's more complicated. I might not be good enough. 

And I knew this is what God had planned for me. I knew God was calling me to go to this unbelievable school. But I still sometimes thought, when the door seemed so locked, that maybe not even God could open it. If something seems so impossible, it can be hard to see that He is bigger than this. 

Can God create a rock He cannot lift?

We've all heard this little paradox I'm sure, and for I while, I thought maybe. 

What we have to realize is that He is the Unmovable Rock. 

I started this post thinking it would be about my journey of applying to school, all the doubts and stuff. But that's not really important anymore. It's part of my story, and I love it and wouldn't change a thing, but what's more important is what I've learned from it. 

God is so much bigger than our fears, and He is so much stronger than the bolted door we see. If it's meant to open it will. And God opened this door for me. 

I couldn't be happier :)

A Post

I write books in cafes. I like the smell of coffee in the background and the music playing softly below the chatter. I like watching people come in and out while I type. I enjoy the light from the big windows, the sound of the coffee grinder, the squeak of the chairs. My mind can focus on creating the plot, involving the characters, thinking more deeply. I can focus. 


I write poetry on my bedroom floor. The dappled light from my window splashes across the pages of my notebook, where I try to put words to an emotion. Everything is still, but my mind is a thunderstorm. 


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Sorry for the lack of posting and for the awkwardness of this one. How've you been?

Hello September!

September, you came too quickly. 

So that's that. Another summer come and gone. My friend was telling me this morning how it may have been the best summer of her life, but honestly, for me it went by so fast it all seems so blurry when I look back on it. I really can't compare it to past summers. It's felt like just a small moment in time, not three months. 

However, when someone in the future will ask about my summer of 2017, I'll think of only good memories, happy feelings, moments of laughter. Nothing bad comes to mind. So yeah. I guess it was one of the better ones. 

But this is just about August. 

LIFE THINGS

I came home from the summer program, which was the best two weeks of my life. I said goodbye to a good friend going off to college.  I sat in a coffee shop and drank iced chai lattes and worked on my story for hours. I went to the beach with new friends. I started Senior year of high school (waaaat). 

BOOK THINGS

I read The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie. Gotta say, the whole first half of the book, I wasn't loving it too much... But WOW that plot twist tho!! If you haven't read Agatha Christie and are looking to read something with wit, suspense, MURDERRRR, surprises, tea, and British accents, all rolled in to a nice convenient little cinnamon roll of a book, Agatha Christie is the one for you, my fren. 

WRITING THINGS

I mentioned this above, but I spent multiple hours in a local coffee shop writing alllll the words. It's still very much a work in progress, and I'm not going nearly as fast as I would like to. But I haven't had a ton of time to write recently, so the fact that I was able to make myself stay at this coffee shop for such a long period of time just writing, writing, writing, (and I managed to figure out a scene I'd been stuck on, thankyouverymuch) was surprising to me. 

AUGUST WAS...

//heat waves (!!!) 

//a feeling of independence, yet familiarity

//driving with the windows down

//planning

//iced lattes

//palm trees and sunshine

//new nail polish

FAVORITE AUGUST MOMENTS...

//watching Sherlock with my brother

//getting coffee after school

//playing capture the flag in the cul-de-sac with alllll my siblings

//music festivals

//spontaneously going to a party with my friend when the party was already half-way over...

//Senior year...

LET'S TALK! HOW WAS YOUR AUGUST?

New Novel and I Question Myself (Legit)(ft. Beautiful People)

HELLO HI I'M BACK AND SUPER EXCITED because today I am talking all about my new story idea... which finally came together after a bajillion years because #braindead.

So have some questions and some answers and eat some cheesecake or something. 

WHAT IS THE STORY'S AESTHETIC?

candles. rain hitting the window. faded t-shirts. broken glass. bruises. coffee. 
BEHOLD THE AESTHETIC BOARD





WHO IS THE PROTAGONIST?

Her name is Bella, she's nineteen, and she's one of those people who is quiet most of the time but you get nervous around her after a while because she's just got this look in her eyes like she's seen more darkness in the world than you could imagine. She's a poor, shattered soul and I love her to pieces and I get to mess up her life a bit because I'm just cruel.

Okay, so here is the August set of Beautiful People questions. 




What are they addicted to/can't live without?

Bella finds it hard to live without security. (And so naturally I throw her into a lot of insecure situations) She likes to know there's a 'safety net', she likes to have a Plan B, etc.

Name 3 positive and 3 negative qualities about your character

Pro: independent. thinks of others first. smart. 

Con: only sees the bad in people. lets herself be taken advantage of, even when she knows it. a very closed up person.

Are they holding onto something they should get rid of?

In a way, no, and that's her issue. She is too scared to hold onto anything, especially hope.

If 10 is completely organized and 1 is completely messy, where do they fall on the scale?

5. She's perfectly half-and-half. Organized when it comes to her thoughts, her ideas, and more important things; messy when it comes to her bedroom, the dishes, etc.

What most frustrates them about the world they live in?

How completely, totally dark it is. She only sees the darkness.

How would they dress for a night out? How would they dress for a night in?

Night out: nice jeans//grey t-shirt//green military jacket//Converse hi-tops//her brother's beanie

Night in: leggings and a t-shirt

How many shoes do they own and what kind?

Not many. She's got a few pairs of Converse, probably a pair of Minnetonka ankle boots, and not much else.

Do they have any pets? What pet do they WISH they had?

Nope, no pets. She likes dogs, though. 

Is there something or someone they resent? Why and what happened?

She basically resents most of the people in her life, because they all kinda backstabbed her in some way. Except her brother, who is too sweet for this world. She adores her little brother. 

What's usually in their fridge of pantry?

I mean, she's nineteen. Poptarts. Cup-o-Noodles. Eggo waffles. Coffee. Clif bars. Chinese take-out leftovers. Those super gross fruit cup things. I dunno, anything quick and easy. 

OKAY so she may have come off as a bit dark, but really it's not her fault, life's been incredibly mean to her. And her brother, another major character, sees more light in the world than she does and so they kind of balance each other out. 

I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS. Thanks for staying with me this far. Love you all <3

Two Weeks

Before I went off to my two-week college summer program, I had a handful of half-written posts I was determined to finish and post soon after I got home. Yet somehow now, they don't seem as important as I thought they were. The two weeks I spent at this amazing school in the California mountains with sketchy wifi, a big beautiful library, and the most incredible people ever seems more important to me now. 

Honestly I wasn't sure what to expect from this. I already knew I wanted to go to this school next year. I was going with some friends from school, and I thought I'd spend most of my time with them instead of branching out. Branching out sounded scary. It sounded intimidating. I mean, I was only going to know these people for two weeks--what kind of friendship can one form in two weeks? 

Apparently the best kind. 

The dorms were single-sex, and my roommate and I spent many nights up late talking. She liked to sing to herself and I liked to listen. Her aunt gave her a bunch of red roses to take with her, and she kept them on the table between our beds. She told me about home in Florida, and I pictured it in my mind. 

In the library, I sat across from a blonde girl on one of the first nights. We were supposed to be quiet, but we kept giggling for no reason. She made me an origami swan and I named him Jerry and kept him on my desk. She lived in the room across from mine, and I'd see her in the mornings with one earbud in, listening to Spanish music. 

One girl had basically my personality. We had a new inside joke every day and the laughter never stopped. Our minds were synced, and it was both creepy and amusing. We would race to the cafeteria for root beer a thousand times a day, and we talked about everything from our love of desserts to whatever was on our minds. 

I have deeper friendships with people I knew and lived with for two weeks than I do with some people I've gone to school with for years. Each one of them were so talented, unique, and interesting. And the memories I made with them will last for my lifetime. Whether it was figuring out the washing machines, studying Euclid on sugar highs, continuing our class discussions during lunch, jumping in the ponds, giving each other hennas, playing volleyball after class, or praying the rosary together, I finally discovered that in true friendships, time doesn't matter. You don't need seven years to make the best friendships. 

I had two weeks and I love these people to death. We brought each other closer to God. It really was one of the best experiences of my life. 

Quills in the Inkwell || Three Years and Counting

GUUUYYYYYS IT'S MY THIRD BLOGOVERSARY!! 

Legit, I'm so excited, but also super confused, A) because I don't understand how on earth it's been three years, and B) because I'm terrible at coming up with ideas for special blogoversary posts... xD 

JUST JUST JUST COME EAT OREOS WITH ME OK? OK. 

But honestly, this has been a wild ride. I'm so grateful to everyone who reads all this jumble of randomness. It makes me feel so happy that my voice is being heard, even way over here in this lil corner of the Internet. Because I have a lot to say, and the fact that you guys read my posts and comment and encourage me so much is unbelievable x) YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST. 

The world is big and scary and dark, and we've all been told to be careful on the Internet, but I know I've made some real, genuine, EXTREMELY SWEET friends through this blog. I've gotten to know so many girls who are on the same journey as I am; following God through the chaos and writing our freaking stories xD And you guys inspire me to be better! You inspire me to be a better writer, you inspire me to be a better Christian, and you inspire me to enjoy life in all its craziness. 

Thank you for reading. You mean so much to me <3