First drafts are a pain

Ok. 
*flops* 
I'm done, don't give me more homework world!!!!! 

Sadly, as we speak, or type or whatever, my long list calls me: Latin vocabulary! It must be studied!

Fun. 

My plot hole has mostly been vanquished, but I'm still struggling. I actually went back and found the document on my laptop that holds Claire's story (which had kind of been sitting on the virtual shelf, collecting virtual dust in the virtual corner of the computer). I only got through the first chapter before I looked like this: 

YUP Doctor Who gif!!

I CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE THAT!!! It was horrible! I mean, it wasn't horrible, but as I was reading I kept thinking, "whaaaaaat on earth..." It was a mess, but it was a first draft. But seriously, if I'm going to do a second draft, I might as well start the whole thing over 'cause I would be cutting and changing literally everything!!! 

So that didn't exactly help my mood. I finally finish my first novella and it's horrible? I guess disappointment is kind of in the whole being-a-writer package. I'm never going to get it perfect on my fist draft. Unfortunately, I tend to want to get it perfect on my first draft because I dislike doing multiple drafts, but we all know that will never happen. 

I also looked back at my poems, mainly those impromptu poems I posted a while back. 
Wow. 
It was sad. 
It kinda made me think that I'm not really taking this "aspiring writer" thing very seriously. I mean, I do want to get serious about writing, but also not too serious, but also more serious than I am right know, you know?

(I just took a mini break from writing this post to practice piano and get some of my Latin vocabulary out of the way. Aren't you proud?)

Ok, update time:

Current word count: 4,016

Today's word count: 0 (don't judge, I do have to go to school)

Favorite line(s) so far: I feel rather spontaneous this morning and Stevie's verbal abuse won't ruin my Saturday. I lean over and pretend to retch on her shoulder.
Her face distorts in disgust. She dusts the imaginary vomit off her shoulder and mutters, "Here, this is yours..."
"Oh thanks, I dropped that."

I love writing this sisterly banter that goes on (Stevie is short for Stephanie and Stephanie is Miette's sister). I try to make it sound natural, like something my brother and I would say to each other.
At this rate, I will never make 50,000 words. Maybe by November... But during Easter break, I plan on buckling down, hiding out in my room with a cup of tea and some chocolate and powering out a couple 10K words. 
We'll see how well that works out. 

--Abby