2017 Wrap-Up

my mom got me this calendar and one of those candles :) kinda super aesthetic.

I know, I know. This is the most common post title in the blogging community these days. But it's simple and easy and we are wrapping up the year, after all. 

2017 was a crazy, amazing, wonderful year. Not meaning it was all fun and every day I was happy and only good things happened to me. But I grew up a little more this year and became a little more of the person I'm hoping to be. 
It was anything but a boring year. 

Some highlights...

I turned 18. I started Senior year of high school. I got accepted to college. I had my first job interview. I rediscovered my immense love for sushi. I figured out that happiness isn't something that happens to us, it's a choice. I exercised regularly. I started spiritual direction and learned to take my relationship with God more seriously. I consecrated myself to Mary. I learned to properly drive in LA (sort of). The Thomas Fire came hurtling through my hometown and burned so much. I spent the first half of the year plotting my new book and spent the second half writing it. I took the SAT. I went to a two week college program over the summer, which definitely was two of the best weeks ever. I celebrated my three-year blogoversary. I went to Palm Springs with a bunch of my family. I participated in Kate's Blood Race Blog Tour! Over spring break, I went back to the East Coast which was an awesome trip. I privately published my last novel and held it in my hands for the first time. Back in January, I went up to San Francisco for the West Coast Walk For Life. 

It was a good year. 

I'm not really setting any goals for myself this year, as 2018 is probably going to be the craziest year of my life so far. I'm going to graduate high school in five short months and then in eight months I'll be off to college. I do have plans for this blog once I leave home in August to a new home where there is no consistent wifi... I do have plans, and I'll let you know what those plans are once that time comes. 

2018 is going to be a mountain. But I'm taking it step by step. 

Over the year I kept a list of things I learned throughout the year. I've done this for the past two years and I really like it (here's 2015 and here's 2016). Here's a compilation of what I learned in 2017: 

//Don't lie. Ever. 

//Stress is the worst, but tea helps

//Live in the moment!!

//You can be stressed and happy at the same time

//Take initiative!

//Beautiful little things happen :)

//Don't live a life of missed opportunities

//It's easier to be happy

//Who cares? Be happy anyway

//Sometimes it's not worth is; and you should be able to distinguish those moments from the moments where it's worth everything

//Hardship passes

//Compliment people :)

//I don't like competing

Let's talk!! How was your year? Do you have any goals? Happy New Year and thanks so much for reading!!

The Year the Winds Were Cold

The Santa Anna winds come up sometime in the first semester of school every year. They come hot and fast and dry, and it's my least favorite week of school for the whole year. It's a week of chapped lips and holding our skirts down and fanning our faces and necks with papers and books. 
But this year, for whatever reason, they came late. On Monday, December 4th, the winds came with a wintery bite instead of a heat wave. They still came strongly. 
I left school late that day. All over campus were the usual conversations of "I can't believe it's only Monday" and "see you tomorrow!" My friend walked me to my car and we laughed most of the way. It was cloudy and the sun had set, giving the world a purple hue. I drove away, wondering when I would have time to write my thesis or finish my math homework. 
That night, the wind picked up. I sat on my bed watching random comedian clips when I got a text from a friend on the East Coast, asking if I was okay. When I asked why, she told me about the fire. 

the actual fire (not my image)

About half and hour away, the college I'm going to next year was being evacuated due to a fire in the hills. I called my cousin who goes to that school to find out if he was okay and where he was going, and he in turn asked if I was okay and if our grandparents were okay. Our grandparents live down the block from me, and we all were a good half an hour from the college. I scoffed because I couldn't believe he was worried. We weren't in danger. It was not the first time there had been a little fire in the hills up there. I was fine. 
An hour later, my dad told me the fire was looking bad and that I might want to pack a bag, "just in case." I didn't. Not right away, anyway. I was comfortable in my bed and the loud wind outside made my room seem more cozy, and I wasn't in a big hurry to pack anything. I had school the next day, after all. 
Around 10:30 PM, the lamps in my room blinked. Then again. Then it was dark. You've got to be kidding me. I turned on the flashlight and went out in the hall and my dad told me to pack a bag again. 
The fire was coming. The fire was here. I threw a couple t-shirts in a backpack and anything that was irreplaceable to me. But looking around my room, I realized how little of it was irreplaceable. I took my favorite hoodie, my school books, the nice pair of earrings my grandma had given me, my notebook. That's about it. We met my grandparents and we left. 10:48 PM. 
I had to drive one of the cars part way, just far enough till it was away from the fire. My brother came with me. The wind was brutal, the smoke poisoned the air. 
As we left town, I could see the hills I lived on. They were ablaze with hellish flames.  

I got to come home today. My house survived, by some miracle. The air is still not that great, and all my stuff smells like smoke. The fields across the street are charred and black and the houses aren't there anymore. 
I wonder when it won't be strange to drive down the streets that used to be so memorized in my mind and see them so altered. I wonder when I won't be shocked as every other house is in ruins and people I know are homeless. I wonder when I'll be able to drink water from my own faucet. I wonder if the image of my hillside in flames will ever fade. 

I write this all down, not to ask for a pity party or try and tell you all that I went through some harrowing experience, because it isn't true. I got so lucky. Not everyone was. I write all this down because I want to remember all the details. I want to remember how it happened. I want to always remember that I can't take my home and belongings for granted. 

The year the winds were cold was the year my world went up in flames. 

Hello December!

I'm alive, I'm alive, mainly because I didn't officially do NaNo this year... Did you?? If you did, I'd like to personally send you recovery coffee and Oreos. Whether you met your goal or not, nice work, you incredible person!! It takes a lot to take on the beast of NaNo. 

LIFE THINGS

November was much more chill than October, by far! Socially, I mean. In October, I was kind of all over the place, but this month I spent a lot of time at home, writing, reading, making cookie butter milkshakes (which are my new favorite...), baking, among other things that didn't involve leaving the house or seeing people. :) 

Not to say I didn't go out at all. For one, this month was our school gala auction, which I worked at. That meant, being at the Ronald Reagan Library for over thirteen hours. If you have never been to the Ronald Reagan Library before, I highly recommend it, but maybe don't stay for thirteen hours. 

Also a friend from Georgia came into town for a weekend. I drove down to LA and back. I auditioned for Zaneeta in our production of Music Man. I turned eighteen (????). I went to a basketball game with a friend. THANKSGIVING. 

I started spiritual direction this month also, because I feel like my spiritual life has been rather dry lately, and it's been incredibly helpful. I'm so so so thankful that I have this opportunity to talk about God and everything that's been going on (or not going on) between Him and me with someone who is so much wiser than I am. 

BOOK THINGS

I read two Agatha Christie books. And Then There Were None and Murder on the Orient Express. Guys. Agatha Christie is a genius. I did go see the movie Murder on the Orient Express, and to be honest, I thought it was underwhelming. The book was better (when is it not). 

WRITING THINGS

Like I said, I didn't officially do NaNo this year. BUT seeing you guys being all supportive of each other on Twitter all month long was so inspiring that I actually got a ton of writing done! In the beginning of the month, I was writing maybe 500 words a day, which was an upgrade from my 1K words a week that I had done in October. But then I sort of discovered how to get myself more into it. I discovered I write best and most between 5PM and 7PM. School and homework are done, but dinner isn't quite ready and I have nothing else to do, so I turn all the lights off in my room, turn on one of Abbie's Spotify writing playlists, and get to work! It's actually kind of weird, because at 5PM, it's not that dark out yet so having all the lights off isn't a huge deal. But then I get so wrapped up in my writing and the music cuts out all my distractions, so when I look up from the computer screen two hours later, I'm surprised by how dark it suddenly is. Keeping the room dark actually helps cut out my distractions too. 

A few days ago I surprised myself by writing 2K words in an hour and a half! I think that's a record for me. I'm still super slow, but I'm getting better. 

I am putting this project aside for December, though, or at least for the first week or two, because I have to write my senior thesis and it's due in a few weeks. So unfortunately, my WIP is going on the shelf for the time being. 

NOVEMBER WAS...

//music in the car

//traffic lights at night

//ice cream

//hugs

//fuzzy socks

//milkshakes on cold days

//conversations about the more important things

//classic rock

//ping pong games

FAVORITE NOVEMBER MOMENTS...

//driving my cousins home at one AM. listening to music loudly and trying to lose our voices. finding our way around Los Angeles while staying awake thanks to the sugar highs. 

//drinking peppermint mochas and blasting Christmas music in the car the morning after Thanksgiving. 

//getting family together for Thanksgiving and taking time to see the little blessings in our lives.

//a class trip to my teacher's ranch. playing ping pong and darts outside. eating pizza and talking about Niagara Falls and flying chairs. riding horses and making jokes.

//eating too much sushi on my birthday.

//going through old memories and making new ones.

//writing in a dark room. 

//walking around the Ronald Reagan Library. sneaking into exhibits. taking pictures and laughing about nothing. 

LET'S TALK! HOW WAS YOUR MONTH?

Two Minute Thoughts

I'm an adult now but I don't want that to mean what everyone seems to think it means. I don't want to feel that pressure on my last day of being 17, a "minor", to do crazy things or act wild and young just because my time as a child is over in a few hours. Because your childhood doesn't end in a second. It doesn't stop as the clock switches from 11:59 to 12:00 AM. Everyone's childhood ends differently. Sometimes it's a process. So my childhood may have ended a while ago, or maybe I'm still a child. 

Either way, I'm not going to put pressure on myself to do things before I'm 18. If we didn't document the exact date of my birth, nobody would notice any change in me from November 21 to November 22. It's all just a huge fuss over time. When November 22 does come, I won't suddenly be all grown up because I'm still growing and learning. I still go into giggling fits over stupid jokes. I still dream of traveling the world and writing about what I see and who I meet. I still stay up late with my friends on caffeine highs singing dumb songs. But I also feel sentimental over old memories from when I really was young. The conversations I have with people are deeper and more thoughtful and carry more meaning. I'm getting ready for college and earning money and thinking about the future. 

I think I'm in the middle of this growing up process and it won't be finished for a while. But that's ok. I'm just along for the ride.

Piece by Piece

She would always smile. 

She'd walk into the room and smile at me sometimes, but I could hear the whispering from behind me. I could hear the sound of the voices in the room change. I could hear the way they laughed. 

She'd laugh and make a joke and I would hear the dulled mocking next to me. I'd hear them laughing, but not with her. I'd hear what they had to say about her and her joke after she left the room. And I always wish I hadn't. 

I saw their faces when they looked at her. I heard the way they tore her down. Piece by piece, I watched as they could take every one of her flaws and put them up on a billboard. They ignored how kind she was. How happy she was. How she cared for everyone. None of that mattered to them. They found everything wrong with her that they didn't want to see in themselves. 

She was always smiling. 

But suddenly, 

She wasn't. 

:: :: ::

I've been thinking a lot about bullying lately, and how it affects people. How bullies can take someone's personal insecurities and blow them up for the world to see. It's disgusting and more people need to be aware of how big of an issue it is. Even if you consider the "joke" insignificant, it could have a lasting effect on someone. We all need to be kinder. 

Hello November!

It's the writing season! The stay-up-to-a-time-of-night-you-didn't-realize-existed-and-write-till-you're-sick season! The best season! *no sarcasm whatsoever* 

Happy NaNo month! Why are you reading this, go write! 
Or you know, write after you read this, that works too. I like when people read my posts x)

October was a whirlwind. I knew it was going to be a whirlwind too, back in September, and I couldn't wait for October to come! And now it's over. But that's okay because now I have a new month-full of memories. 

LIFE THINGS

Lots of thinking about college (I'm so excited I can't contain it). Lots of late night adventures, bonfires, lots of midnight sugar-highs, lots of coffee. October was a month of nighttime. Driving around town at night, getting ice cream with friends at 11 PM, painting the street under street lamps. 

Oh yeah, that was cool. In a small town about a half an hour away, they have an all-night festival thing where people come and paint the street. I went for the first time with some friends, and there were so many colors and patterns and people and lights and noises and smells. It was an experience. 

It was a month of nighttime... and art. An art walk downtown. A class trip to an art museum. Painting in the middle of the night. 

October was a whirlwind. Of colors. Of patterns. Of stars. 

BOOK THINGS

I finished Great Expectations, but other than that, not a lot of reading happened. The month was too full, too active. The good news is, November is looking like a reading month to me :) 

WRITING THINGS

I should start keeping track of exactly how many words I write in a month. But I got a good amount of writing in this month, surprisingly. I discovered I focus best on writing when I'm in coffee shops, and I've found my favorite table in my favorite coffee shop and it's all very aesthetic. (And can we talk about how many good fall-themes chai drinks are out now it's the greatest)

And obviously, this month is dedicated to writing. Step aside, social life. Writing is top priority the next 30 days. 

October was...

//crunching leaves

//the smell of coffee

//being wrapped up in blankets on the screen porch, listening to the quiet of night

//sipping iced drinks through a straw

//sandy feet

//car doors at midnight

//the smell of bonfire that lingers on your clothes

//scratchy haybales

Favorite October Moments...

//my friend waking me up with coffee

//ordering too many nachos

//the festival

//the art walk downtown

//taking my sister to see Spiderman

//the multiple bonfires

//running through sprinklers

//stargazing under blankets while Ed Sheeran sang softly in the background

//walking along the beach

Let's talk! How was your month? Are you doing NaNo this year?

Note to Self

Dear Self. 

Don't be crazy. I know it's hot out right now, and heat makes me irritable. But don't be crazy.

Take a shower. I'm sweaty and gross from exercising in this thousand degree weather, and now I need a shower. 

Don't be afraid of spending money, but keep in mind that I have no constant source of income at the moment. 

Think before I speak. Not every thought that comes to my mind is God's gift to the world, and therefore not every thought needs to be shared. Filter out the fluff from the good, kind words that will brighten someone's day. 

Stop procrastinating. I need to write my history essay. I need to do laundry. I need to plot and organize an outline for NaNo. I need to stop with the Netflix and get some work done. 

Stop being afraid, because it's holding me back. I can't be afraid of people not liking me, I can't be afraid of the future, I can't be afraid of truth, and I can't be afraid of screwing up because it's making me less than I could be. And I don't want that. 

If I keep comparing myself to everyone, the uphill climb becomes more vertical. 

Don't be materialistic.

Be generous to myself, as long as I can be generous to others too. 

I don't want to be just another cliche shouting "BE YOURSELF" across the screen, because I don't totally believe in that idea. I want to be who God made me to be. But at the same time, I can't pretend to be something I'm not just to impress people who don't really matter in the long run. 

Relax a little. I'm stressing too much about the small things. Focus and breathe. 

This is Why

Someone asked me recently what my mission as a writer is. And it made me think a lot about why I'm doing this. 

Writing is hard, guys, though I'm sure most of you know. It's hours of typing, brainstorming, editing (the horror), and when you've finished with that, the manuscript is messy, sometimes cheesy, full of plot holes, cringe-worthy, and overall just not... there. (Unless you're a perfect writer, in which case, please give me tips) I very rarely feel like writing. It's something I often have to make myself do. I'm not inspired every day to sit down and write, nor am I always happy about doing it. It's time consuming. Sometimes there are other things I'd rather do. 

Sometimes I read what I've written and think it's awful and why am I trying to be a writer again?? 

Just because I love to write doesn't mean it's always easy to write. So why do I do it?

This is why.

A while back, I sat down and planned on only writing for a little bit. But a little bit turned into multiple hours, and I managed to finish draft one of my story. When I wrote the final words, I screamed and looked the manuscript over quickly, just skimming over it. It was so messy and unorganized and there were notes in the margin I'd made for myself, telling myself to fix this, scrap that, expand this paragraph, find a different word, etc. It wasn't a direct path, it was a tree with branches going in all different directions. It was messy. But it was mine. I started crying right then and there, because holy cow, I'd done it! I wrote a novel! 

Since then I've finished draft two and printed it out and let people read it and it's sitting on my shelf right now. I'll probably never touch it again, as I've moved on to other projects. But guys, it's mine! I took something that was born straight from my imagination and ran with it until it was a reality, and it makes me so unbelievably happy. 

That's why. 

Hello October!

It's October already!! I don't understand how this year is already almost over. I am super excited though because October sort of begins my favorite part of the year. I love the cool, fall weather in October and November, and plus there's all the holidays to look forward to (and my birthday WHAT). Fall is my favorite season and even though we don't really get the full experience in southern California, we still get colder weather and rainy days, the leaves that change, and allllll the fall-themed drinks in the cafes x). 

LIFE THINGS

Well I mean, I think the biggest thing that happened this month was getting accepted to college (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). And that was such a huge thing and now I really can't remember much of the rest of the month hahahahawhoops. 

My cousin drove up one weekend which was SO MUCH FUN because I haven't seen her in a while. We went to dinner and crashed a dance at the very college that accepted me not a week later... x) I also went to lunch with another cousin, who is a freshman at aforementioned college. I can't believe we're going to school together next year. 

It was a month full of people, if that makes sense. I spent so much time getting together with people I haven't seen and meeting good friends for coffee dates, I went to three dances, and just talked to everyone. It's been really nice. 

BOOK THINGS

My grandma gave me a beautiful copy of The Secret Life of Bees. I've seen the movie but hadn't read the book, but once I picked it up I couldn't put it down! I DEFINITELY recommend this book to everyone!!! It's a good book for fall, too. Even though it takes place in summer. It's got fall-ish vibes. 

I'm also working on reading through the Psalms. It was kind of a spontaneous decision to read the Psalms, but I'm glad I am. :)

I'm reading Great Expectations for school and OH MY GOSH Dickens is officially my favorite writer. All the imagery! And just his amazing way with words!! I hope to have a FRACTION of his skill someday. 

WRITING THINGS

I'm slowly but surely working my way through my WIP. I'm going so slow it's ridiculous. I think this is going to be my longest manuscript ever though, which will be quite an achievement for me if I can actually do it. Still deciding if I want to do NaNo or not, but I'm leaning towards yes because I desperately need motivation. 

September was...

//coffee coffee coffee

//talking over the noise of crowds

//late nights

//waffles in the morning

//Snapples

//falling asleep with lightning flashing outside my window

//sunburns

//string lights

Favorite September moments...

//11PM In N Out runs

//getting new notebooks

//going out to eat with family

//setting up for the first school dance

//getting accepted to college

Let's talk! How was your month?

The Unmovable Rock

Last night I found out I got accepted to college. 

This is a weird feeling for me, looking back on all the times in the past year I've felt so overwhelmed with thoughts like what if I don't get in... I get to look back on the times I got stressed out over a failed test, knowing everything affects how colleges will look at me. I get to remember sitting in my aunt's kitchen on my phone and seeing my SAT scores in my inbox. I freaked out over that, I freaked out over writing my ((six)) application essays, I freaked out over taking each PSAT. I lay in my room and cried on bad days, just positive I wasn't good enough, that even God wasn't strong enough to open this door that seemed so closed to me from where I was. 

I surprised myself at first last night. After I got off the phone, I smiled and felt a bit shaky, but it didn't really process. I did what I always imagined I would do if I found out I got in, which was call my best friend. She didn't pick up, so I texted her instead. I realized I should tell my mom and everyone, but first I sat on my bed for the sheer joy of sitting in the same place where I had nearly drowned in all the pressure I'd felt over the past year. And now I could sit there without the huge weight. 

The minute I stepped out into the hallway, it processed. I broke down into a full-on ugly cry. I haven't sobbed so hard in years. 

This was what I've been striving for since before I even started seriously thinking about college. When I was little, it was the college I just assumed I'd go to, but then as I grew up, I realized it's more complicated. Life's more complicated. I might not be good enough. 

And I knew this is what God had planned for me. I knew God was calling me to go to this unbelievable school. But I still sometimes thought, when the door seemed so locked, that maybe not even God could open it. If something seems so impossible, it can be hard to see that He is bigger than this. 

Can God create a rock He cannot lift?

We've all heard this little paradox I'm sure, and for I while, I thought maybe. 

What we have to realize is that He is the Unmovable Rock. 

I started this post thinking it would be about my journey of applying to school, all the doubts and stuff. But that's not really important anymore. It's part of my story, and I love it and wouldn't change a thing, but what's more important is what I've learned from it. 

God is so much bigger than our fears, and He is so much stronger than the bolted door we see. If it's meant to open it will. And God opened this door for me. 

I couldn't be happier :)

A Post

I write books in cafes. I like the smell of coffee in the background and the music playing softly below the chatter. I like watching people come in and out while I type. I enjoy the light from the big windows, the sound of the coffee grinder, the squeak of the chairs. My mind can focus on creating the plot, involving the characters, thinking more deeply. I can focus. 


I write poetry on my bedroom floor. The dappled light from my window splashes across the pages of my notebook, where I try to put words to an emotion. Everything is still, but my mind is a thunderstorm. 


-----------------
Sorry for the lack of posting and for the awkwardness of this one. How've you been?

Hello September!

September, you came too quickly. 

So that's that. Another summer come and gone. My friend was telling me this morning how it may have been the best summer of her life, but honestly, for me it went by so fast it all seems so blurry when I look back on it. I really can't compare it to past summers. It's felt like just a small moment in time, not three months. 

However, when someone in the future will ask about my summer of 2017, I'll think of only good memories, happy feelings, moments of laughter. Nothing bad comes to mind. So yeah. I guess it was one of the better ones. 

But this is just about August. 

LIFE THINGS

I came home from the summer program, which was the best two weeks of my life. I said goodbye to a good friend going off to college.  I sat in a coffee shop and drank iced chai lattes and worked on my story for hours. I went to the beach with new friends. I started Senior year of high school (waaaat). 

BOOK THINGS

I read The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie. Gotta say, the whole first half of the book, I wasn't loving it too much... But WOW that plot twist tho!! If you haven't read Agatha Christie and are looking to read something with wit, suspense, MURDERRRR, surprises, tea, and British accents, all rolled in to a nice convenient little cinnamon roll of a book, Agatha Christie is the one for you, my fren. 

WRITING THINGS

I mentioned this above, but I spent multiple hours in a local coffee shop writing alllll the words. It's still very much a work in progress, and I'm not going nearly as fast as I would like to. But I haven't had a ton of time to write recently, so the fact that I was able to make myself stay at this coffee shop for such a long period of time just writing, writing, writing, (and I managed to figure out a scene I'd been stuck on, thankyouverymuch) was surprising to me. 

AUGUST WAS...

//heat waves (!!!) 

//a feeling of independence, yet familiarity

//driving with the windows down

//planning

//iced lattes

//palm trees and sunshine

//new nail polish

FAVORITE AUGUST MOMENTS...

//watching Sherlock with my brother

//getting coffee after school

//playing capture the flag in the cul-de-sac with alllll my siblings

//music festivals

//spontaneously going to a party with my friend when the party was already half-way over...

//Senior year...

LET'S TALK! HOW WAS YOUR AUGUST?

New Novel and I Question Myself (Legit)(ft. Beautiful People)

HELLO HI I'M BACK AND SUPER EXCITED because today I am talking all about my new story idea... which finally came together after a bajillion years because #braindead.

So have some questions and some answers and eat some cheesecake or something. 

WHAT IS THE STORY'S AESTHETIC?

candles. rain hitting the window. faded t-shirts. broken glass. bruises. coffee. 
BEHOLD THE AESTHETIC BOARD





WHO IS THE PROTAGONIST?

Her name is Bella, she's nineteen, and she's one of those people who is quiet most of the time but you get nervous around her after a while because she's just got this look in her eyes like she's seen more darkness in the world than you could imagine. She's a poor, shattered soul and I love her to pieces and I get to mess up her life a bit because I'm just cruel.

Okay, so here is the August set of Beautiful People questions. 




What are they addicted to/can't live without?

Bella finds it hard to live without security. (And so naturally I throw her into a lot of insecure situations) She likes to know there's a 'safety net', she likes to have a Plan B, etc.

Name 3 positive and 3 negative qualities about your character

Pro: independent. thinks of others first. smart. 

Con: only sees the bad in people. lets herself be taken advantage of, even when she knows it. a very closed up person.

Are they holding onto something they should get rid of?

In a way, no, and that's her issue. She is too scared to hold onto anything, especially hope.

If 10 is completely organized and 1 is completely messy, where do they fall on the scale?

5. She's perfectly half-and-half. Organized when it comes to her thoughts, her ideas, and more important things; messy when it comes to her bedroom, the dishes, etc.

What most frustrates them about the world they live in?

How completely, totally dark it is. She only sees the darkness.

How would they dress for a night out? How would they dress for a night in?

Night out: nice jeans//grey t-shirt//green military jacket//Converse hi-tops//her brother's beanie

Night in: leggings and a t-shirt

How many shoes do they own and what kind?

Not many. She's got a few pairs of Converse, probably a pair of Minnetonka ankle boots, and not much else.

Do they have any pets? What pet do they WISH they had?

Nope, no pets. She likes dogs, though. 

Is there something or someone they resent? Why and what happened?

She basically resents most of the people in her life, because they all kinda backstabbed her in some way. Except her brother, who is too sweet for this world. She adores her little brother. 

What's usually in their fridge of pantry?

I mean, she's nineteen. Poptarts. Cup-o-Noodles. Eggo waffles. Coffee. Clif bars. Chinese take-out leftovers. Those super gross fruit cup things. I dunno, anything quick and easy. 

OKAY so she may have come off as a bit dark, but really it's not her fault, life's been incredibly mean to her. And her brother, another major character, sees more light in the world than she does and so they kind of balance each other out. 

I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS. Thanks for staying with me this far. Love you all <3

Two Weeks

Before I went off to my two-week college summer program, I had a handful of half-written posts I was determined to finish and post soon after I got home. Yet somehow now, they don't seem as important as I thought they were. The two weeks I spent at this amazing school in the California mountains with sketchy wifi, a big beautiful library, and the most incredible people ever seems more important to me now. 

Honestly I wasn't sure what to expect from this. I already knew I wanted to go to this school next year. I was going with some friends from school, and I thought I'd spend most of my time with them instead of branching out. Branching out sounded scary. It sounded intimidating. I mean, I was only going to know these people for two weeks--what kind of friendship can one form in two weeks? 

Apparently the best kind. 

The dorms were single-sex, and my roommate and I spent many nights up late talking. She liked to sing to herself and I liked to listen. Her aunt gave her a bunch of red roses to take with her, and she kept them on the table between our beds. She told me about home in Florida, and I pictured it in my mind. 

In the library, I sat across from a blonde girl on one of the first nights. We were supposed to be quiet, but we kept giggling for no reason. She made me an origami swan and I named him Jerry and kept him on my desk. She lived in the room across from mine, and I'd see her in the mornings with one earbud in, listening to Spanish music. 

One girl had basically my personality. We had a new inside joke every day and the laughter never stopped. Our minds were synced, and it was both creepy and amusing. We would race to the cafeteria for root beer a thousand times a day, and we talked about everything from our love of desserts to whatever was on our minds. 

I have deeper friendships with people I knew and lived with for two weeks than I do with some people I've gone to school with for years. Each one of them were so talented, unique, and interesting. And the memories I made with them will last for my lifetime. Whether it was figuring out the washing machines, studying Euclid on sugar highs, continuing our class discussions during lunch, jumping in the ponds, giving each other hennas, playing volleyball after class, or praying the rosary together, I finally discovered that in true friendships, time doesn't matter. You don't need seven years to make the best friendships. 

I had two weeks and I love these people to death. We brought each other closer to God. It really was one of the best experiences of my life. 

Quills in the Inkwell || Three Years and Counting

GUUUYYYYYS IT'S MY THIRD BLOGOVERSARY!! 

Legit, I'm so excited, but also super confused, A) because I don't understand how on earth it's been three years, and B) because I'm terrible at coming up with ideas for special blogoversary posts... xD 

JUST JUST JUST COME EAT OREOS WITH ME OK? OK. 

But honestly, this has been a wild ride. I'm so grateful to everyone who reads all this jumble of randomness. It makes me feel so happy that my voice is being heard, even way over here in this lil corner of the Internet. Because I have a lot to say, and the fact that you guys read my posts and comment and encourage me so much is unbelievable x) YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST. 

The world is big and scary and dark, and we've all been told to be careful on the Internet, but I know I've made some real, genuine, EXTREMELY SWEET friends through this blog. I've gotten to know so many girls who are on the same journey as I am; following God through the chaos and writing our freaking stories xD And you guys inspire me to be better! You inspire me to be a better writer, you inspire me to be a better Christian, and you inspire me to enjoy life in all its craziness. 

Thank you for reading. You mean so much to me <3