Pencils, Panicking, and Philosophy

Penguin just asked me if he could borrow a pencil. This caused me to have a mental game of tug-of-war: 

Ahhhh, no, Penguin. These are my pencils that I write with, so yeah, sorry. 

Oh fine, dude, it's just a pencil, after all. 

NO!!! MY PENCILS!!!!! 

Oh, okay, right. Mine.

It's very rare that my aspiring-writer side and my normal person side agree on anything. So since they actually agreed on this, I decided it would be a good idea to listen them and avoid whatever dangerous consequences I would have had to face if I had said yes. Most likely, the consequence would have been Penguin losing/breaking/eating my pencil. 

Call me selfish. I'm weird. 

Okay, why am I so attached to pencils?? This happened a while ago, too, in math class. A friend of mine wanted to trade pencils and I thought he meant just for that class, so I did. Then at the end of class, he showed it to me and it turns out that he had covered it with sharpie. This kid's really artistic, and basically decorates whatever he can get his hands on, which happened to be my pencil at that specific moment. So, yeah, never got my pencil back. Then I ended up losing the pencil he had given me, so then I had NO pencil. 

I don't even see what the point of my weird obsession is. I guess I just really like that pencil I traded because it was mechanical and the graphite was .5mm which is what I like... 
I guess this is a lot of fuss over a pencil, but I'm sorry I'M VERY ATTACHED TO THEM. 
... 
Thats probably not a good thing...  
Seriously, I would be happy getting pencils and fuzzy sock for Christmas. 

Ok, on a totally different note, the exam is TOMORROW!!!!! I also have this huge science test tomorrow, and UGH REALLY I CAN'T. This time tomorrow it'll be over though... 

But this science test is super tough stuff! It's not even science, it's more like philosophy. I don't feel like I'm old enough for philosophy. Once upon a time, words like philosophy and logic were big, grown-up words that were studied by big, grown-up people. And now, I have classes in both philosophy and logic. 
What. Happened. 
I'm fifteen. 
This is weird. 

Sometimes I feel like my life is on a stopwatch. Everything has a deadline. Summer is coming up and I still need to bring my English grade up to an A+ (I really want to get an A+ in English for some reason, but I'm stuck with a B+ currently...), I need to write my History essay, I need to outline my novel, I need to read all these books that I seriously need to finish, I need to get vanilla extract and Earl Grey tea so I can make a London Fog Earl Grey latte (okay, that's not really at the top of my to-do list)(why do I not have Earl Grey??), among other things. 

But I guess I shouldn't be stressing about all this at nine-forty-five. What I need is sleep. And to pass this science test and this STUPID LATIN EXAM. 
Seriously, I bet they thought up this exam to torture us. "How can we torture students even more..." 
But at least I can use my pencil to do the exam... 
(Somewhere deep inside of my conscience, the normal-person me is hitting the aspiring-writer me over the head with a frying pan.)

--Abby